The Last Toilet Training Adventure

The Last Toilet Training Adventure

Friday, 5 February 2016

In this latest episode of where-the-hell-did-my-baby-go, apparently Miss Olive is no longer using nappies. 

Like most working parents, this was not so much a conscious discussion as me walking through the door one evening to find her in pants.

Blue Minions pants in case you wondered.

Not that I think you will be overly concerned with the design of my daughters underwear, this is more of a forewarning that the next time you see her, you will be presented with a view of blue Minions knickers.

In reality it was Olive who decided that her time had come – as it should be, it’s her body after all – and like her sister before her, she announced that she wanted to use the potty and the rest, as they say, is history.

On the plus side, it’s summer, which means that puddles and washing dry pretty fast. On the down side, it’s summer, so if you don’t get to the puddles quickly enough then you have to play “hunt the whiff” until you find where she was caught short.

In less than a week, she has learned that “I need the toilet” needs to be announced ahead of time in order to be effective, and that there is a never ending stream of fist bumps and sibling adoration to celebrate her achievements.

While it’s heart-warming to see the older two be so excited and supportive, part of me is also slightly concerned that the first time someone free climbs a cliff, or recites The Lord’s Prayer in Cantonese, or gets accepted into NASA, they are going to lose their collective shit.

Now at this point, I'm sure you have a mental image of smiles, and easy times at our house; but Miss Olive, as with all her enterprises, is very set that there is a time, a place and indeed a way in which to go to the toilet. For the most part, they run something along these lines

Me: Olive, do you need the toilet? 

Olive: Yes I need poo

Me: Ooh OK, sit down here and do your poo

Olive: I do poo 

Me: Yes Olive, you do poo now. 

Olive, grinning: I do POOH FAHT!! 

Me: Sure, if you need to do a poo fart that's OK. 

Olive,  jumping up: POO!!  

Me, looking at the tiny nugget of poo in the potty: Well done Oliebollen, why don't you sit down and see if more poo comes? 

Olive: Need more poo.

 Me: Well sit down then!

Olive: No, poo touching!

 Me: So you want me to clean the potty

Olive: Yes, poo touching. 

**brief interlude while I go and tip the teenie poo down the nearest toilet ** 

Me: Sit down then and see if some poo comes 

Olive: I do poo 

Me: Yes honey, you do poo

Olive: I do FAHT!!!

Me: Yup

Olive, jumping up: MORE POO!!  

Me, looking at the mere smear of poo in the bottom and wondering whether it was left over from last time
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Olive: Poo touching.