Wondrously Other: October 2012

Not Just a Box of Smarties

It has been a while since I spoke about Nestle, but it's Nestle Free Week and that’s almost as good as a hand written invitation in this house.

I have lost count of the number of times my children have been offered a box of Smarties, or a Milky Bar by well-meaning relatives. I choose to believe that people continue to offer them because they don’t notice that these products are made by Nestle rather than any underhand attempt to undermine our parenting choices.

I can understand the appeal of these products, and that it is sometimes hard to spot the endless stream of Nestle brands. Keith was caught out by Fruit Pastels – not literally, they didn’t wait round a street corner and mug him as he walked past – because it’s easy to let your guard down.

So the big news is that Nestle are in trouble again over shady dealings. This time it is in the Philippines, where they want a law passed which will make it easier for them to pretend that their baby milk is a superior choice to breastmilk. The Philippine's Department of Health, WHO and UNICEF issued a statement on 1st September condemning the proposed law, saying it:

"aims to support multinational companies while damaging the Filipino society: families, the mothers and children".

So what, right? So a baby is fed on formula rather than breastmilk, never did our nearest and dearest any harm. It may surprise you to know that I myself was a bottle fed baby.

The difference is we live in the western world with access to clean water and affordable formula. We also live in the part of the world where we have the privilege of being able to make consumer choices about the corporate behaviour we support.

So this week, I just want you to think about what your purchasing choices really say:

When you buy a box of Smarties, your money is saying that it is OK for a company to starve babies for profit.

When you drink a cup of Nescafe your money is agreeing that dirty water is a better choice for a newborn that sterile breastmilk.

When you tuck into a bowl of Cheerios your money is supporting the idea that families living in abject poverty should spent over 90% of their household income on expensive formula.

The babies that are dying are healthy babies, born to mothers who but for corporate aggression could easily feed them. These are babies who aren't dying from illness, or accident, but from the greed of a corporation.

And here’s the kicker: The only thing you have to do to help change this evil is to shop a little differently.

How simple could it be?

Monday, 29 October 2012 Comments: 2

It Takes a Special Kind Of Idiot

Who actually goes camping in this country in October? On what basis does that ever seem like a better idea than, say, shoving your head in a box of overstimulated spiders?

Well it wasn't a better idea, but we did it anyway.

For me, a big part of my promise to my children is about being open to every opportunity to have fun and make new experiences: Even if they aren't necessarily my idea of fun and especially if they are outside of my comfort zone.

I have Reynauds, so about this time every year I get pretty wimpy about being outdoors for long periods of time. I am still a little scarred from weekends at the Pod where the only thing between you and frostbite were occasional trips to the toilets to huddle under the hand drier. There were times I actually wondered if I could sleep the night under those driers.

This is by way of giving you context of how much I was dreading this trip. More specifically, how much I was dreading that horrible three am wakeup call when your feet have been replaced by something dead and you wonder if there is any way your bladder can hold out until the sun comes up.

The children had no such problems because children couldn't care less if they have hypothermia as long as they are having fun.

Fun for my son is making leaf boats and racing them across the puddles in the campsite

It is sleeping in a “den” with his dad

It is helping Jody make French Toast

It is collecting his own body weight in conkers.

It is inspecting a punctured tyre and wheeling it up the lane to show to a field full of moo-cows.

Fun for my daughter is stealing the clotted cream pots when we stop for a cream tea.

Fun for me is being there to see them suck the marrow out of every last moment ...

And then enjoying a well-earned cuppa while they sleep.

Friday, 19 October 2012 Comments: 2

Esme

The Beginner's Guide to Emmie Expressions - Finis

It is right about the time you see this expression that you make DAMN sure there is nothing valuable between Esme and her bed.

Not if you still want to have use of it anyway. Or your legs.

Comments: 0

Inspiration

Felix Baumgartner, You’re My Hero*

Right now I am reeling from a day of watching history being made.

Keith wrote very eloquently about the wider impact of Space travel on a young mind and it is one of the rare times I actually agree with him. The young DO need magic in their lives to inspire them. They need the extraordinary and the phantasmagorical and things untainted by economy or common sense or Health and Safety.

The choices are pretty few and far between for the current generation but yesterday there was a small glimpse of that magic.

Yesterday, a man went into space in a balloon … and then jumped out of it.

Why?

Well you can paint that horse any damn colour you like but I like to think a big part of it was JUST THE HELL BECAUSE!

When I was little, my dad used to get the Sunday Times every week and I used to steal the magazine. I loved the stories about glamorous and daring celebrities and I especially loved the stories that ended in tragedy.

I was something of a gory child.

One of the stories that stuck in my mind was illustrated by a series of photos showing a boat cartwheeling, the quote underneath describing the pilot as being decapitated in the process. The man was of course Donald Campbell in his failed Speed Record attempt on Coniston Water.

It wasn't just the gore that captured my imagination though, it was about making sense of why: Why did he do it? What was the point? Who would risk their life so willingly?

I was left, as I often am when I come across a tragic story, with a curious feeling that sits in my gut and refuses to let me forget. Of course many years later my husband would turn out to be enough of a land speed nut to overshadow any interest I might have, but I wasn't to know that. I never did forget about Donald and his last dramatic moments.

Yesterday I was once again left slightly awestruck by the ease with which people can set aside their personal safety in the pursuit of something special.

Why did Felix Baumgartner skydive from the edge of space?

I don’t really care.

I just hope my children will remember that they lived in a time where people still did amazing things, just because they could.

*As Cameron Frye almost once said

Monday, 15 October 2012 Comments: 0

Stay At Home Dad That's Life

Petit Revanche

I am tired today:

The children have colds and are up half the night coughing and last night I was up until gone midnight because Keith went visiting on his bike and ran out of fuel on the way home because he "couldn't be bothered to stop".

I once heard Sara Cox talk about "little revenge" - the sort where you accidentally add a bit too much salt to someone's sandwich, or forget to sugar their tea - and I'll put my hand up, I saw an opportunity this morning and I went for it:

R2D2, the most annoying message alert in a long list of annoying message alerts.

Tell me you wouldn't have done the same.

Friday, 12 October 2012 Comments: 0

Alfie Crafts

How to Make a Neep From An Old Jumper

I have found it so hard to write about how I made a Neep, mainly because everything I wrote made it sound like I live in a Martha Stewart-esque bubble of domestic bliss where nothing could be further from the truth. The reality is my crafting is powered by impatience and sheer blind luck.

If however, like Alfie, your children are fans of the series Abney and Teal, you might be surprised to know how easy it is to make them a Neep out of an old jumper. Also there are no nice Neep dolls to be bought, so it's either make your own, or draw a face on a real life turnip and hope your child doesn't notice.

I chose an old Christmas gift that just happened to be pure wool and put it through the washing machine on a hot wash to felt it so that it would be easier to work.

I went online and printed out a photo of Neep A3 size. Nothing special, just a pose I thought would work well as an outline.

I cut out my template, placed it on my jumper and drew round it. I wanted a rustic look to my Neep so I decided to cut out the jumper and sew it with the seams on the outside. It also means that the finer detail (like the end of the limbs) aren’t lost by the bulk of the wool.

I used a simple assembly stitch on the seams and then a decorative stitch to sew the outline of the nose. The eyes were buttons and the mouth I hand stitched with the thickest thread I could find.

Homemade Neep from Abney and Teal - Face Detail

One word about the dye: I used Dylon hand dye made up as concentrated as I could and sat my Neep in it for 2 hours in total. Wool is justifiably known for not accepting dye easily! The nose I coloured by ‘painting’ the dye with a cotton bud. If I had more patience, I would have given Neep several more sittings. But I don't.

Homemade Neep from Abney and Teal - Graduation Dye

After he was coloured it was a simple case of stuffing and closing and waiting for Alfie's birthday to role around. For my own sanity I asked Keith to hide him somewhere even I couldn't find him - just in case I caved and gave it to him early.

Homemade Neep from Abney and Teal - Finished Face

Not that it would matter because it turns out (after the fact) that Alfie's favourite character is actually Bop. In this house, that name now comes with several swear words attached.

Wednesday, 10 October 2012 Comments: 1

Esme

The Beginner's Guide to Emmie Expressions - I Love You, You Clown!

Emmie is completely and totally in love with her big brother, mostly because she thinks he is a complete numpty. A funny one.

This photo was taken at lunch, while Alfie was very kindly keeping Emmie amused for me so she wouldn't realise I was trying to shovel medicine down her.

We live in hope that she might actually cut a tooth some time before her first birthday.

Sunday, 7 October 2012 Comments: 0

Alfie Toddler DoOm

My Son Has Zero Sense Of Self Preservation

I know science says that animals are unable to commit suicide because they have no sense of self, but there do seem to be some who have less sense than others: I think specifically of lemmings and pheasants here.

Now please add to that list my son. It appears that Alfies have no sense either.

Also add to the list of notable things in life that no good conversation started with the words “Now don’t panic” and that nursery staff have not seen it all.

My son was at nursery yesterday when for reasons best known to himself, he took a small metal ball and decided that the best place to hide it from his key worker was in his mouth. While she was changing him.

I know! There are welcome mats that know not to pull dumb shit like that!

The end result was both predictable, and suitably dramatic:

My son went very quiet, his key worker hauled him to his feet, walloped him on the back and the small metal ball went flying across the room. Then my son did what any self-respecting nearly 3 year old would do and ran off like nothing had happened leaving his poor key worker in need of a stiff drink and a lie down.

All of which just serves to demonstrate two important things: First aid saves lives and whatever they pay nursery workers, it’s never going to be enough to get those grey hairs coloured.

Saturday, 6 October 2012 Comments: 2

Esme

Looks My Girl Rocks: Le Chic

It occurred to me today that Emmie has some awesome outfits that manage to be both girlie and non pink.

So I thought I’d share one of them.

Add caption

I need to capture these fleeting moments when Emmie looks like she was actually dressed (as opposed to being thrown at a pile of clothes) because by mid morning you can guarantee there’s been a poo-splosion.

By the time I get home in the evening, she is normally looks like the kid who forgot their PE kit and got forced to raid the leftovers box. Was my school the only one that had one of those? I remember the threat alone of having to wear something 3 sizes too big and smelling vaguely of mould and pee was enough to make damn sure I wasn’t caught short.

Aaaaahaha y’see what I did there? I made a little joke. Yay me.

Wednesday, 3 October 2012 Comments: 0

That's Life

DITL - Any Given Sunday

One of the things I treasure about blogging is the ability to capture the little moments that would otherwise pass into the mists of time.

Today was the day after a magical family trip to Knebworth and I'll be honest, I was bloody jaded. I hoped the children would be kind because the thought of a high maintenance day actually had me feeling slightly hysterical.

I'm not sure if that's the point you know you've had too much tea, or not enough.

My approach was simple: Avoid the issue at all costs and just hope it goes away.

So after breakfast I set Alfie up with his new toy - a Play-Doh rubble maker thingy.

Check out how proud he is of his "roun, roun". I was almost loathe to tell him if he was after little brown pellets he could just have helped me clean out the chinchilla.

He and I played with this all morning while the baby slept on my chest. I whispered a secret thanks to him upstairs for showering me with exactly the blessing I needed.

After lunch we decided it was time for baking, which is decidedly more difficult while holding a baby in one arm so Alfie and I developed this whole three-legged race approach to mixing.

I also fixed the monkey mask, as you can see.

And once the cake was baked and cooling, we made the most incredible minestrone for dinner. I can honestly say Alfie did as much of the cooking as I did. Not that it should be as a surprise for someone with as precocious a desire for challenges as him.

And lo, we did eat, and I did video; mainly because Emmie was tired and I hoped that I might just get a glimmer of the melodrama that she does so well.

That "Ooo" mouth cracks me up every single time!

So now, if you'll excuse me, I have a soft toy to stuff and sew.

Monday, 1 October 2012 Comments: 2

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