You Know You're a Parent When Gross Becomes Normal

You Know You're a Parent When Gross Becomes Normal

Thursday, 28 October 2010

This post is equal parts shameless exploitation of the chance to post photos of Alfie, and opportunity to point and jeer at Keith.

Recently Alfie has taken to being a little cocky with his eating skills.

For a start he has issues sitting still which can add a small frisson of danger to mealtimes if you accidentally forget the cutlery and need to dash back to the kitchen.

When he does sit still he is showing early signs of having the same attention span as his father. Apparently spoons are for amateurs and actually don't require the use of any of my son's vast intellect these days. That is reserved for daydreaming



But by far the weirdest development at the table is this

I don't even know where to begin with this. This is what Alfie now does with almost every mouthful that arrives via a spoon. Don't ask me why, I have no idea, but he seems mightily pleased with himself while he's doing it.

I got told off last night for wrestling the spoon back out of gnasher's gurning face so I let Keith take over negotiations. To his credit, Alfie responded very promptly to the request, a little too promptly and dumped the yoghurty spoon on the floor before Keith had a chance to grab it.

And it was at this moment that Keith proved to me he has now entered the dark and dingy world of toddler parenting. He picked the spoon up off the floor and stuck it in his mouth to clean it.

I know!

I'm guessing my face registered something of the revulsion I felt at seeing that slobbery, yoghurty, satay (main course), fluffy (dog hairs) spoon vanishing into his mouth because he looked at me with a blank stare and said "what?"

WHAT?!?! DO I REALLY EVEN HAVE TO PUT INTO WORDS HOW ICKY THAT WAS?!?!?!

I didn't say that though, I just smiled as much as my slight nausea would allow and said "nothing".

Because I have a blog to break it to him instead.