Getting Creative

Getting Creative

Well I did as I promised and took my Clomid again this month. Bizarrely, ovulation didn’t hurt at all. It felt like it was in the post, but it never materialised. I’m certainly not complaining!!

Keith and I have done all we can, and as it would happen, the start of the TWW has been interrupted by a fantastic idea from my best friend.

From now on, she and I are going to try one crazy and outlandish baby remedy a month: Not because we’re foolish enough to think that the clouds will part and a ray of light will bring angels to our bedside holding a child, but because we both need something to deal with the mental cabin fever that comes when you waiting for The Stalk.

Thursday, 30 October 2008 Comments: 0

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Another Month Of Trying To Conceive

Another Month Of Trying To Conceive

This month has been a quiet one in comparison to the mêlée of last month. I didn’t take my Clomid, mainly because ovulation hurt more than anything I have ever experienced and I wanted a rest from that. I’ll take it next month, promise.

Nothing to report again this month, the long weeks of hope, and fun, followed by the usual disappointment as the home pregnancy test laughs in your face.

It’s now a year since I came off the pill, a whole year, and there was a part of me that almost expected this day would come.

I remember at school, we once studied a play by Lorca called “Yerma”, which was the name of the protagonist and also translates to ‘barren’. With a name like that the poor dear didn’t stand a chance and the play is about her going slowly mad as she fails to conceive and ends with her killing her husband. I downloaded the play last year, I suppose as a warning to myself not to get too obsessed with the whole idea of kids, but now it almost seems mockingly prophetic.

Keith’s life is safe, there’s no fear of that, but I do think that every month that goes by, a small part of my hope dies and there’s a part of the 30 year old me who understands that woman’s pain like the 17 year old never could.

Thursday, 9 October 2008 Comments: 0

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